“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15 (ESV)
In speaking to his followers, Jesus tells them, when faced with a situation where they have a conflict with another person to go to the person individually. I believe that 95% of all conflicts could be stopped in their tracks at just this simple point. How many conflicts begin with something that could be a matter of miscommunication or something completely unintentional?
A major problem in our culture right now is that when we have a problem with something or someone, we go straight to facebook, twitter, social media broadcasting to the world. We have a tendency to ramp up our emotions straight to outrage instead of giving each other the benefit of the doubt. What does that tell us that as a general rule when we go all public warfare when most of the time it could be resolved with a simple phone call or over a cup of coffee?
The goal of this one-on-one is not to win the arm wrestling match of conflict or to destroy your brother, but ultimately its about reconciliation and restoration – “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Most conflicts end up with lose-lose situations, with carnage in its wake. How different would it look when you find reconciliation and gain the relationship, the hope, the life, and the future?
Questions to Ponder:
Who do I need to make an appointment with right now and seek reconciliation for wrongs I’ve committed? To lovingly confront someone over a wrong committed?