In his work on small group ministry, Jeffrey Arnold points out two essential elements to building community: commitment and communication.
There are two essential elements to community building. The first is that people make a commitment to be in relationship together, almost like a husband and wife do when they are married (“for better or worse”). Knowing that a commitment of love has been made enables the various people in a group to experience the freedom of testing, growing, disagreeing and challenging within a safe framework.
The other element in a healthy community is communication. By this is meant a two-way interactive sharing of ideas so that mutual growth occurs. Talking does not necessarily produce growth–only communication does. And healthy communication brings together man (“comm” means “with, together”) into one (“uni” means “one”) by breaking down the barriers between people.
Jeffrey Arnold, The Big Book on Small Groups
How is your life group doing? Have you talked about commitment? More than just signing your name on a sheet or simply showing up if you are leading a life group you are making a commitment. You should spell out to your group what you as a leader are committing. You might commit to be prepared, to lead, to facilitate or teach, to pray for each member of your group, to hold into confidence what may be shared. It is always helpful to share these up front, so that participants may know what to expect (and not expect!). You should also be up-front about the commitments participants will make-to attend, to participate, and to hold in confidence what may be shared, to For some good examples of life group covenants see this resource.
How is communication going in your group? As a life group leader are you clear in your communication? Are you checking in on the members of your group between scheduled meeting times? Are you clearly communicating schedules or any schedule changes? During your group time are you doing all of the talking? Likewise, is there anyone who is monopolizing or hijacking discussion? Is the discussing veering toward negativity or criticism? While there is a place for healthy discussion, life groups are not the place to pick apart the pastor’s sermon or the worship leader’s set list!
Let’s work on building community by setting forth a clear commitment and fostering healthy communication within our life groups this semester and see where God takes us!